Just got back from Kindness 2 Retreat, which actually always have been the highlight of New Year. :)
So here goes my twitter-style post, will add pictures when they are up!
For Kindness 2 Retreat 2011,
Ericson broke the the girls' bed when Zhikai taopok him when the two of them and me and bert were playing monopoly deal together. It was epic hilarious when Ericson suddenly sink underneath. We were stunned for a second and just burst out laughing.
We played frisbee at the pool when it was drizzling. Even Byron was playing with us.
Ericson cut his knee during Frisbee at the beach. According to his during a short sharing, he is blessed with a curse to injure himself every year.
Alan came for bbq! This should be a headline. :) He's still the same.
Weiwen came too!
The first time a retreat, people come and go at different timings mainly due to army, still it was nice but I really miss the previous retreat whereby almost all of us could build sandcastles together.
Sharing this year was really fun. Before sharing, we created artworks for each other to be put in a frame, meant to affirm and be thankful for the person given to us by lucky draw. I drew for James, Chased (Weiwang's gf) drew for me. :)
First time joining us a retreat, Chased (weiwang's gf) for the first day, Yating, Daye's gf although i think I 'm going to stop calling her that and label her as the girl who bullies me, for first two days. :) I'm honestly really glad to hit it off well with Chased too and is deeply blessed by the artwork she created for me and the note she left inside the frame.
Feet-washing yesterday, again by lucky draw. Bert washed my feet and I washed James's feet. I really felt Bert's love and care when she washed my feet. haha. & honestly it was awkward washing James's feet because I realised I've never touch a guy's feet before, but it was still nice doing a service for a friend.
I got pranked. lol.
Spooky part. A finger tapped on the windowpanes of the toilet when I was drying myself after a shower. The only reason why I didn't freak out was because I told myself that it might be the usual pranksters but, once again like what happened to Fern last year, it isn't a prank and Ministry of Pranks always admits if it is. oh well. I still haven't decide if I rather the finger to be human or ghost.
To be honest, at different timing and situation within the retreat, I have sudden sprouts of feeling a tad sad even though everyone was happy and I definitely enjoyed myself for the whole thing. I have a reason for this of course, its not random mood-swings, but its a reason I won't publish on a public blog like this.
I spent a lot of time with Yating during retreat and actually am missing her and looking forward to going out with her next next week =D I think I'm starting to view her as a good friend too because I can easily talk to her about anything. I guess the reason why i can click so fast with her is because her personality is almost like mine is certain ways. One trait, she is blur. That's similar to me. She is like certain people that I'm close with too, example wanyi and jinghui. Of course she isn't similar to them exactly, but certain traits are there.
I enjoy sleeping on the same bed as bert and talking to her before sleeping. haha :) So thankful for all the little talk and sharing at the bed. Makes me wish we actually talked more before bedtime during chapel camp since we shared the same room and bed, but I guess during chapel camp we turn in at different timing and were really tired at the end of each day, didn't had the chance.
Ericson and Daye came up with a heavenly mash-up of marshmallows and nutty chocolates, making full use of the microwave. It was so good that initially, Daye and Eric hid themselves in the kitchen with their concoction until I realise Daye was taking too long melting chocolates for the two chocoholic (me and him) to dip our marshmallows in. As I am typing this, I'm munching on my second piece of dark chocolate. I'm a chocoholic, ice-creamholic, yogurt-holic. Hopefully I will never ever become a alcoholic.
I learn a lot from the silence and solitude time. I was at a really good spot for the first hour untill the sun became hot; on this quiet quarry by the sea and the sea breeze was just blowing and blowing and I can see the sea and the vast sky.
Looking at what I gain from Silence and Solitude, I really think I change a lot from 2009 and over the course of 2010. The gist of what I've learnt during that time of reflection about the year and for my future and from praying and reading of the bible passage given to us: About what truly matters.
Sometimes, achieving goals actually doesn't satisfy enough. This was probably the reason why i felt so lost and empty initially when I started school in NUS, despite starting school the way I envision. I am in FASS, the faculty I want. I am learning Korean under Language Prep Prog, which is a big step towards achieving proficiency in a third language as well as a chance to go oversea for months via exchange. I enter school never feeling lonely and I really do love my friends in school too. I have all these but I wasn't truly happy for a short period of time.
Anyway the most important aspect to what I've learnt from that session is how I'm going to apply it to life: Knowing what matters still doesn't change my current goals and drive to achieve them, but what changes is my attitude and motive for achieving my goals. Do I do whatever I do for my own selfish reason or because my drive comes from wanting to glorify the God that I believe in, because I love the people that I'm blessed with and I want to love them as well? I actually kinda wish now, that one day, everyone in kindness 2, or just anyone with messed-up priorities, will realise this before it is too late. I am lucky enough to start questioning what the heck I was doing when almost backsliding 2 years back. I really do not wish to see anyone in K2, especially the ones I'm closer with or those who used to have so much of the right-kind of drive for the things they do and hope to achieve, fall into what I almost did because it will break my heart knowing how it is like myself.
However if someone can rise from a fall, I think, the person can really mature an epic lot. This is what I realise from Daye's sharing which actually really touched me. Maybe 'mature' isn't the best word, but realising what is important is a tad closer to what I'm trying to express. I think he would never read my blog but thank you daye, for the very firm 'Yes' you gave me for the question I asked you, which you probably wouldn't remember next time.
I hope for 2011, I will really make an effort to give myself periods of stillness and quietness to keep myself in sync.
& this is the end to my very long twitter-style post which defy the rule of 144 characters per tweet. :)
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